Archive for March, 2011

Reggie the Alligator: Cute CuzCaptured

March 8, 2011

The size of a cocker spaniel? That&;s what they said about my cousin, captured in Hemet in the low-rent desert, pockmarked with a few Florida-like artificial lakes. But he didn&;t get out much; it&;s a miracle he stayed as &;healthy&; at four feet and 50 pounds as they claim he was. They took him away and put him at &;Forever Wild&;, some kind of crazy alligator sanctuary in another desert shithole, Phelan. He&;s going to join 70!!! of our cousins there that they took out of people&;s houses.  I know we&;re cute and lovable, but come on people&;we grow up to be big gators with healthy appetites!  What part of that don&;t you understand?! The sanctuary worker, Joel Almquist, said &;It wasn&;t nasty, it was very well mannered.&;  Good manners are certainly native to cunning gators, buddy.  And cocker spaniels are for eating, my friend, and a tasty snack they are.

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